The Way You Fall Asleep
by JE 3
Summary: Annabeth during Percy's disappearance, Pre-Lost Hero. One-Shot.


**A/N: What's good, guys ! I'm JE, and this is my first one-shot. This is un-related to my story An HoO Love Story. This focuses on Annabeth after Percy's disappearence pre- Lost Hero,I know, it's been done, but I still want to take a crack at it. Shout-out to my boy Wilks, my beta and buddy. ;)**

Gods, why? Why did everything that Annabeth allowed into her heart, into the tiny, secluded part of her that was reserved for the things that she loved, have to hurt her? To cause her a pain worse than any monster could ever inflict? It had been only a few days since she had learned that Percy Jackson, her boyfriend, her best friend, the one person that loved more than anything on Earth, had disappeared off the face of the planet. She had been afraid for him so many times before, but this fear was so much worse. Partly, because this time they were together, but mostly because, before, she'd been with him when he was in danger. And when she wasn't, at least she'd known what might be happening, how likely it was that he'd survive.

Now, she had no idea where he was, how he was, or who he was with. She'd done everything she could think of to calm herself, but it was pointless. Whatever rationalization she made of the situation, the raw, sickening feeling of panic would not leave her. She searched franticly for weeks. Gods, her life for the last 13 days and, 23 minutes had been nothing but searching. She had set up numerous monitors in her cabin (her cabinmates were not thrilled with that, but she could not care) tracking every demigod reported in the Eastern region of the country. But, despite her numerous efforts, they were no closer to finding him.

Her searching continued, but, after scouring every contact Percy had, searching everywhere Percy had attended school, frequented, mentioned being at once, or had any remote chance of being she could think of, she forced herself to stop. "This is pointless." She told herself. "The Gods obviously don't want you to find him." But Annabeth couldn't take that. Just sitting there, while Percy was gone from her, was impossible. She could barely eat, and basically stopped sleeping. She would just wander aimlessly around camp, making herself feel miserable because, hey, it beat feeling empty. Feeling a hollowness inside her that seemed to suck the air from her lungs, never allowing her to fully breathe. Yeah, even being miserable was better than that. To keep from forgetting Percy (as if that were actually possible) she kept to places that brought back memories of him. Sweet, terrible, painful, wonderful memories.

Her favorite was Percy's cabin. The large, wide, and empty Posiedon cabin. She spent all the time she didn't devote to wandering around camp like a zombie in that cabin. She was heading there now, as a matter of fact. She silently slipped into the cabin, surveying her surroundings. The floor was littered with candy wrappers, and dirty laundry was strewn around everywhere. It was clear from looking that only one of the beds had been occupied recently. Percy's bed was actually pretty clean, compared to the rest of the room. Annabeth picked up one of the shirts off the ground and inspected it. It was one of his favorites, an old dark blue one.

She peeled off her own shirt and pulled that one on. Percy was a bit taller than her, so the shirt billowed down close to her knees. She brought the fabric on the shirt to her face, inhaling its scent. Percy's scent. The smell of the ocean, salt and sea air. That smell, one she had become so familiar with, forced all the feelings, the anger, turmoil, resentment, fear, the feelings she fought down ever since Percy had vanished, up to surface. Finally, she stopped fighting, and let the tears come.

She sat there and cried for Gods know how long, before falling asleep out of fatigue. She dreamed she was standing by the lake, soaking wet. "Need some help there, Wise Girl?" she heard a familiar voice ask, chuckling lightly all the while. She turned quickly to face the source of the comment. "Percy!" It was him. Same sea green eyes, same jet black hair, same silly, lopsided grin. Annabeth felt hope well up inside her, as she ran toward him. "Percy!" she all but screamed, throwing her arms around him. "Oh, Gods, where were you?" "Does that really matter right now?" Percy asked mirroring her elated grin. "I guess not, but you definitely have some explaining to do later." Annabeth said, before being pulled into a kiss. It felt wonderful to be with him again, having him here safe. But, as they parted from their embrace, he began to dissolve into a fine gold dust. "What? No! Not again! You can't leave me again!" But he just kept blowing away in the wind, that same content smile on his face.

She woke up in a cold sweat. 'Why?' she thought, Why did you have to leave? Annabeth questioned, knowing it was pointless to blame Percy. She couldn't believe he had chosen to leave her, to leave everyone. I will find him; I don't need to act like this. It isn't helping me find him. I'm a child of Athena, I shouldn't let my heart rule me like this. But that part of her was not the part she was listening to. She loved Percy, and she was allowed to be upset if he was gone. Percy was one of the strongest people she knew, and she had seen cry a few times before. She'd learned, from all of that, that crying, opening up, having moments of weakness didn't make you weak.

She remembered something Percy had told her. They had been lying on a blanket on Mantauk beach (Percy had taken them there as a surprise) when the conversation turned to Athena. "It just freaks me out that she lives strictly by logic. That she's never, like, emotional." Percy had confessed.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Well, yeah. I think so, anyway."

"Why's that?"

"I just think, sometimes, you don't need to head above your heart."

"Really? Give me an example."

Percy laughed "How about the two of us? Can you honestly tell me that, if you went solely logically, you'd still be with me?" For some reason, Annabeth found that extremely funny and busted up laughing. Soon Percy joined in and the two were cracking up. Once they were done, "I guess you've got me there, Seaweed Brain."

"Wow, me being right, that's a rarity huh?"

"Don't get used to it."

That thought made her smile for minute before it made the pang of loss spring up again. She thought about Percy even more after that, and after a while, she was back on the verge of tears. She was tired of fighting this, so she just lied down in Percy's bed, and fell apart the way you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once.

**A/N: Yes, it was long one-shot, my one-shots are gonna be long. Hope you liked it. I know Annabeth is a little OOC, but come on she lost one the only people she's ever truly connected with, I'd be a little shaken too. JE Out.**


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